This was not intended to be my next blog. The next blog was in fact in full swing. I was typing away like a goodun, two or three pages in, and probably my best work to date.……lets not beat about the bush. It was fucking hilarious!!! When all of a sudden bang, it’s gone! “An error has occurred. Would you like to send a report to Microsoft” - send or don’t send. You know the shit. Then gone…..completely gone. One and a half fucking hours down the tube.
I would like to state right here, right now, that Bill -wank stain- Gates, in my opinion, is the biggest cu!t on the face of this earth! The Microsoft windows operating system, is the biggest pile of steaming shit that man ever devised. This arsehole has been flooding and monopolising the market for thirty odd bloody years, and it’s about time someone punched him squarely in the face! A blow for all the poor bastards like me, who has had……(hang on, better save it)!…..This dreadful pile of turd ridden bollocks fuck up their day. It’s about time we started a pressure group to stamp out the jumper wearing, side hair parting, four eyed (I wear glasses, but I’ll let it go this time), nerdy, whiney voiced tosser. How has he got away with it? Thirty something years of churning out something that quite simply, only works when it fucking feels like it! If you have had the misfortune to have to reformat your hard drive when the bloody computer has died beyond resuscitation, you, like me, would have watched the images of people smiling, wowing, and oohing as they use Microsoft windows. These images are shown as the bloody thing installs. Surely this breaks the rules of some trades description act or something doesn’t it? They should actually be showing people tearing their hair out in lumps, as it crashes yet again. People sobbing as yet another document is lost, never to be found again. A middle aged man looking bewildered as an application that he was using yesterday, and which was working perfectly, today gives him the two fingers. People jumping off tall buildings shouting “Fuck you Gates” as they plummet to their deaths, because they have seen the ‘BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH’ one too many times. Desperados trying to find solace in the bottom of a bottle of whiskey, because the screen has locked up. Someone phoning the Samaritans, because Bill’s wonder product, can’t do the simplest cocking thing. What genuinely worries me, is that a great deal of the worlds computers run on this shit. Big important stuff. The nuclear weapons of the world are probably controlled by it. Dear God almighty…..we are doomed.
“Those damn Ruskies have stepped over the mark once to often. Lets nuke ‘em”
Microsoft windows has encountered an error. Would you like to file a report…..send or don’t send
“Aaaaaarrrgghhhhhhhhhh”
Right that’s it. The next computer I buy, will be an ‘apple mac’. I will pile all the Microsoft one’s up in the back garden, dowse them in petrol, and set light to it, while dancing around it naked, covered in Cherokee war paint, and wailing like a banshee! If I can be arsed, I will make an effigy of Bill, and stab it with the sharp bits of a graphics card!
Phew, do I feel any better for that. Not really, but it had to be said. I’m drained, spent, I have nothing left. The new blog will just have to wait. I’m off to play on my xbox 360.……FUCK THAT’S ONE OF BILL’S DEVIL MACHINES AS WELL!…………..
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